loopyloulaura

My very own website!!! Yikes!

Apparently I’m despised. But that’s ok…

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My mum is an avid Mumsnet reader, her favourite section being the ‘am I being unreasonable…?’ threads. Mum knows I blog so drew my attention to this stream of vitriol against smug mummy blogs. Apparently the world hates me and other bloggers like me 🙁
It isn’t the first time I have seen Mumsnet members attacking bloggers. I took part in a live web chat (Mumstock) back in April and was stunned by the negative comments about mums who blog. Then of course we have the #solidaritea article in the Daily Mail. 
I wrote my own response to the slummy mummy and dimwit narcissist accusation and much of it also applies to this thread so have a read!
So why do I blog?

I write this blog for me. I have been guilty of being so wrapped up in the children that I forget who Laura is. Of course I write about my family and my role as a mum. But I also focus on things that matter to me.
I am a vegetarian with wheat and fruit allergies so I include advice and recipes that hopefully will support others who face the same dietary challenges.
I struggled with breastfeeding and have written about the problems I went through. I have described my mental health issues that affected me before I had children.
I write about the mundane stuff, the fun stuff. The highs and lows of parenting. The triumphs, the mistakes. Getting older. Being a woman, being a partner, being a mum, being me.

I am very shy. This is my chance to be me. It may be that no one actually reads my blog but it is still an opportunity for me to be the me I am with those I love.
I am giving myself a voice. Women and mothers have fought to be heard throughout history and now technology has given us the gift of free digital speech.
I am mindful of my children’s feelings. Matt and Anya had YouTube channels before I started my own or this blog and I often ask permission to include anecdotes, photos or quotes. When they are older and more self conscious I will delete anything they are uncomfortable with.

I am creating a record of the milestones, adventures and events in our life together. My blog is something I hope we can all share and be proud of. Yes, I could do a private journal but this is a way to have a permanent document of everything we do, that the children will be able to access whenever they want.
I am not in this for the money or freebies. I am not about to get rich and famous (blushes and panics!). A little extra income would be nice on top of the 3 other part time jobs I have but what I really want is to help just one person, make one person know everything will be ok, tell one person to never give up. That may not have happened yet so I will keep going, writing mostly for me but also on the off chance I can help someone else.
I hope I am not smug.
I hope my family and friends read this and see the me they already know.
I hope I do not embarrass Chris or my children.
I hope I don’t let myself or them down.
I hope. So I blog.

 


Categories: Personal.

/ 71 Comments

71 comments

  1. Kara

    I have not seen the thread but is smacks of jealousy. Why can women not b supportive of each other. If you don’t like it, don’t read it……simple

    Reply
  2. Lauretta Wright

    It’s sad how people generalise and misjudge. I blog (and vlog) to create memories and because it’s a hobby. Good for you for writing this post – stay the way you are Laura – you’re lovely x

    Reply
  3. Talya

    What is it about people hating mummy bloggers. Why don’t people just channel their energy into something more positive? The world would be a better place if so. Well said Laura! x

    Reply
  4. Natasha

    Wow, I am so glad all I have come across in my little blogging world is other supportive bloggers. I steer clear of mumsnet as I’ve always found it to be negative and judging. Like you, I write for me, it’s my little hobby, my little corner of my introverted world that feels it’s ok to speak out and share when otherwise I wouldn’t.
    A great post, thank you for sharing.
    #GlobalBlogging

    Reply
  5. Tara

    Good for you. They all sounds like very positive reasons to blog. Definitely think I’ll be staying away from those sort of threads. Obviously they have a right to their opinion but I don’t have to read it (just like they don’t have to read blogs!) #MMBC

    Reply
  6. Laura @ Dot Makes 4

    I haven’t read the entire thread, but I think it’s awful that people want to try and tear down mummy bloggers.
    Like you, I blog to share memories and because I like to write. I also started to blog to share my story of a family living with food allergies and hopefully help someone else in the same boat.
    I love your blog Laura- don’t change!

    #globalblogging

    Reply
  7. Kate Entwistle

    You go girl! I too have a fb page and wrote about how it is. It’s for me. To vent instead of shouting at everyone else! Doesnt always work though! Keep going. Ignore those negative people. Xxx

    Reply
  8. Rhian Westbury

    Good for you blogging because you want to, for most of us that’s the only reason we do, we blog not for other people but for ourselves and it’s good that you blog both the highs and the lows x

    Reply
  9. Emmy - Misadventurous Mummy

    I am so torn with this thread. I’m torn between writing a response like you and a couple of other bloggers have, and taking the attitude that to respond to it, gives it acknowledgement and credit. I know that it gets me really angry though. Typical mumsnet. So very hypocritical.

    Emmy – Misadventurous Mummy

    Reply
  10. Kira

    I love mumsnet and some of the threads are ridiculous in my opinion . We all do what makes us happy , regardless of them ‘there’s always one ‘ comments or people 🙂

    Reply
  12. Elinor Hill aka Beach Hut Cook

    You keep blogging and you keep writing and stuff the negative articles out there. Not everyone reads the same things. I write about food but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. We can’t please all at the same time so here’s to us blogging and loving it! Cheers! Elinor x

    Reply
  13. daydreams of a mum

    I was obliviously unaware of the mum blog hate!! I don’t understand it really… we’re not harming anyone !!
    Like you ,I kind of just take heart from messages from people saying reading my blog made them feel less alone in any given situation… No one is forced to read our stuff (well maybe my sister but other than that!)

    Reply
  14. Jenny

    So it’s ok for them to moan and post their thoughts online but not ok for others to post their thoughts in a blog? How silly!!! Ignore them, they’re not brave enough to start a blog so they don’t know what they’re missing out on

    Reply
  17. tots2travel

    Brits aren’t generally good at the “look at me” culture. Of course blogging draws/invites a bit of extra attention so I think that’s all it is. I wouldn’t worry about it unless it’s personal attacks on social media.

    Reply
  19. John Milnes

    Having seen some of this first hand with my wife who runs a very successful blog. I have seen the jealousy that comes with it too. Or people asking if we could get them x y z for free etc. it doesn’t work that way. Everything we get sent, we have to work out butts off to make the blog post successful. I have to do tonnes of photography for my wife and sometimes that can wear you down. In the end, it brings in stuff we need and we get great clothes and manage to go to some great events too. I can see how this can make others seem jealous too. Its not nice and it needs to stop. A great post.

    Thanks for Sharing

    John M

    Reply
  20. Aleena Brown

    None of the hate makes any sense does it?! I just ignore it these days. I’m sure people think I’m ignorantly oblivious, but I know it’s there and just choose to ignore! Great response #RVHT

    Reply
  23. five little doves

    I found it shocking that others view blogs in this way, and yet I will continue to blog regardless. I think it’s very sad when others judge in this way, if they don’t like it – don’t read it!

    Reply
  24. Linda Hobbis

    Don’t take Mumsnet posters seriously. They love to troll when they get bored and there’s a kind of one-upmanship to see who can be the most offensive.

    Secondly why shouldn’t you earn money from your blog if you want to? We need to stop being so apologetic about creating a space for ourselves which helps support our families.

    I do think the mummy blogger space is incredibly crowded but if you are offering value, support and help, keep on doing it I say.

    Reply
  25. Kate

    Respect to you and as a fellow very shy blogger I get what you mean about it almost not mattering whether people read or not. I started blogging around 2008 and was shocked when someone took the time to read and comment. It was and is about writing for me first and foremost

    Reply
  27. Faith

    I think in some of these places, everyone puts bloggers in the same basket, jumps on the consensus view bangwagon and forgets everyone who blogs does it for a variety of reasons.
    #RVHT

    Reply
  28. the frenchie mummy

    People talk about it and judge us but they don’t have a clue what it is really like to be blogging. I started mine because I wanted to start a project while on maternity leave and I became so addicted. so I am still at it and loving it. It is the best way to remember so many little things I would not have remembered otherwise. I would not pay attention to this Daily Mail article. They don’t know what to talk about… #TriumphantTales.

    Reply
  30. mums' army

    When you become a mother it is very easy to lose yourself along the way and just fall into the role of ‘mummy’ and neglect and forget who you were as a person and your wants and needs. I think blogging is a fantastic way to get that back and express yourself in a way that you would not be able to otherwise. It’s almost like self therapy! Getting stuff off your chest! Plus what you and other bloggers say and talk about will actually make a difference to the people who read it, knowing that they are not alone in their own struggles. So keep on doing what your doing xx Nicky #DreamTeam

    Reply
  32. Louise

    Oh my goodness, I had no idea this sort of hate against mummy bloggers existed! That’s just awful. I started blogging back in 2012 when I was off work with my Scoliosis giving me a lot of pain, and I’ve never looked back. I think maybe the haters are just jealous that they couldn’t be bothered to start a blog!

    Louise x

    Reply
  33. Jenni

    I honestly don’t understand people like that. All that negative energy they must have in their lives. Whatever happened to ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’? Just ignore them and do your thing x

    Reply
  37. Cee Arr

    F**k the haters. (Strong, I know, but true.)

    This happens in other niches too. (Waves from the book-blogging world!) Things can really nasty – and also really snobbish, or sexist, or several other types of bigoted – on occasion (or… frequently and with alarming amounts of vitriol… ) You just gotta keep going. Keep living. Keep loving. Keep doing the right damn thing!

    Plus there are also soooooo many awesome people out there, helping you, laughing with you, crying with you, supporting you. And they rock.

    You do you. As long as you’re not hurting anyone (and you’re obv. not,) then let the haters hate, and keep doing your amazing thing, your own way!

    #RVHT

    Reply
  38. Ali Duke

    This post is brlliant! I don’t know why people hate mum bloggers so much, it is stupid to me. I think everything you have said in this post is how most of us feel.
    #TriumphantTales

    Reply
  39. mummy here and here

    I can’t stand the right fulness of some of them. I try to avoid unless u want to be humoured. Your can’t please everyone, there is good and bad as long as your happy, keep doing what you are doing X #mmbc

    Reply
  41. Clare

    I’ve only been blogging since late 2016 but it’s taken me a while to gain confidence to put myself out there, I’ve only just mentioned it to family and even then they don’t know where my blog is. I’ve come to the conclusion though that this is me and that’s it, if I want to blog, then I’ll blog!

    Reply
  42. Jo - Pickle & Poppet

    i’ve seen the headlines on this but if I’m honest I chose not to read them as they are full of spite. I don’t need to read that negativity so I ignore it. My blog is for me and my view is if they don’t like it, don’t read it. Simples! #TriumphantTales

    Reply
  43. Lydia C. Lee

    I’ve not really seen any of what you talk about but there are groups of bloggers here that attack very high profile bloggers. It’s all very weird. If I don’t like someone’s posts or style, I just don’t read them. To set about tearing them down seems like a very odd use of time. However, someone said recently ‘valuable people value themselves’ so you don’t really need to worry about the opinion of others. HAng in there #Dreamteam

    Reply
  44. Helen

    I love AIBU for it’s ability to wind people up into a frenzy. I once got called sychophantic on there by someone who had been to read my blog and didn’t like it. It made me laugh that I was the subject of a 150 comment thread that eventually had to be deleted by the moderators. You make very good points though. Mum blogging is really important for so many reasons.

    Reply
  45. Roxanne

    I haven’t seen this post but it bloody annoys me when I hear about threads like it!! Bloggers are judged and totally misunderstood. I blog for very similar reasons and I loved your post so much! Well done x

    Reply
  46. sarah (theparentingtrials)

    i haven’t seen the post. but i want to give you a big hug right now.

    i think when people don’t understand things it can be easy just to make negative comments and judgements about it. That said we’re all humans and have feelings so people should really think before they speak/write.

    Don’t let it stop you doing what you love though hun xx

    Reply
  47. Michelle Kellogg

    I have never even heard of this happening! That’s just plain wrong! I mean really? Do they really not have anything better to do with their time than to bash a total stranger over a hobby? That just sounds so crazy to me. Screw the haters Laura! You do you and you rock your blog! #bloggerclubuk

    Reply
  48. Tracey

    No matter what you do somebody will be online complaining about it so I wouldn’t worry about it 🙂 Thank you so much for joining in with #kcacols hope you can join us again next time!

    Reply
  50. The Squirmy Popple

    Well said! I read the Mumsnet thread as well and was stunned by the negativity. There are thousands of blogs out there, and while some of them might not be to your taste, there is guaranteed to be a blogger who you relate to and enjoy. If blogging makes you happier and more fulfilled as a person, keep doing your thang. #ablogginggoodtime

    Reply
  51. Imperfect Mum

    Well done you! It does us all good to remind ourselves why we do this. I really hate this blogger bashing that seems to have become trendy at the moment, so sad. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

    Reply
  52. This Mum's Life

    I just clicked and read the whole thread!! I’ve read things like this before, and they bothered me before, but no longer bother me now. When you think of the tiny number of people in this thread, then the thousands of people who like/comment positively on big blogs like Constance Hall, Unmumsy Mum etc, then for every small mumsnet minority, there are thousands who do enjoy reading blogs. And I know blogs aren’t for everyone-they’ve just chosen to voice their opinion for all to see (erm, just like the people they’re vilifying…!) there’s lots of things in life I don’t get/want to be a part of-I just don’t do them! And I’m big enough not to criticise the people who choose to do them!
    #bigpinklink

    Reply
  54. kerry

    I don’t read mumsnet for this exact reason! parents should be supporting each other knowing how hard it can be. My hubby is a daddy blogger and its such a different outlook their so supportive and all work together. I find at least one mummy blogger a week getting trolled etc by another mum blogger or just a mum been jealous!
    #blogstravaganza

    Reply
  55. Random Musings

    There’s always going to be those people who are jealous of someone creative enough to write a successful blog and enterprising enough to actually do it instead of just saying they are going to. If those people spent the time applying themselves to something productive instead of spewing hate on the internet, they could actually achieve something useful.
    Don’t let these small minded people get you down!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    Reply
  56. Muffin top mummy

    I really don’t understand the problem – people who happen to be mothers blog about happening to be mothers. What is the harm in that!? Add to that the fact that blogging teaches us amazing new skills, alleviates the loneliness of parenting and can lead to some fantastic opportunities – and I think it’s been seriously misjudged. But why bother with the hate? If it’s not your cup of tea, great… move on! I’m glad you spoke up about it, you can see from all the comments of support that we are here to champion one another! Haters gon’ hate. Thanks for linking up to #Blogstravaganza

    Reply
  57. The Tale of Mummyhood

    Very well said! I think you have to love what you do in this game, otherwise the workload just wouldn’t be worth it. There’s always someone lurking to devalue what we do, it’s a shame they don’t have another focus to keep their minds occupied. Hey, maybe they should start a blog! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    Reply
  58. Vicky

    Personally, I think this thread was started by a blogger-wannabe. If she has time to create vitriolic threads complaining about Mummy bloggers, then maybe she should start a blog of her own and show us all how it is done? #mainylovessummer

    Reply
  59. Rach

    I heard about this. Bollocks to ’em. Don’t worry about people you don’t know. I always remind myself “you can’t please everyone so don’t even bother trying”. Mumsnet is full of bitter, unhappy women who take pleasure in knocking others down. Don’t let them knock you down.

    Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

    Reply
  60. Bec Webb

    Gosh, I’ve never read mumsnet to know this kind of negativity existed! What on earth is wrong with people?! I’m all for people having an opinion on a topic or subject, but to have such opinions about a whole type of person…. ridiculous! Mum bloggers are amazing! #mainylovessummer

    Reply
  61. Jaki

    I swear a lot of this is jealousy. I pity them rather than stress about it. I came across similar bitterness when the Huff shared a post of mine on their main Facebook page – huge backlash and their comments were completely unreasonable and unnecessary. Thanks so much for linking up to #TriumphantTales – hope to see you again on Tuesday!

    Reply
  62. Jenny (Accidental Hipster Mum)

    I may be biased as a fellow mummy blogger, but most blogs (yours included) are not smug streams of consciousness. I love your blog and I’ve seen you say before about your shyness. I think blogging has been a fantastic way to make friends. I’ve been on an off my antidepressants over the last year or so and I don’t get a lot of chance to see my real life friends so my blogging buds have been a great support system.

    I think there will always be people who don’t like everything and unfortunately, it’s usually the least intelligent and kind who have the loudest voices.

    #RVHT

    Reply
  64. Annette, 3 Little Buttons

    I love this post, and couldn’t wait to get to it over on the #DreamTeam. I still haven’t read THAT thread yet, but I can imagine what it says so don’t think I will be checking it out any time soon. I think that many meanies (?) say mean things about bloggers because they don’t get it. Or perhaps they hadn’t realised when they typed in ‘is it normal for….’ or ‘top tips for visiting…’ that it was very likely a blog that google threw at them with the answer. Fab read xx

    Reply

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  67. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)

    There are lots of good reasons to blog – and if it is something that you enjoy, gives you a voice and makes you happy whilst you are also being mindful of your children’s potential response to it, then what does it really matter what others think. I only read the first page of the thread and I can never understand why some women have this need to tear others down. If you don’t like mummy blogs, then don’t read them – simple. There’s really no need for all the unkindness and to be honest, it says more about the person being unkind than it does about the mummy bloggers they claim to despise. #bloggerclubuk

    Reply
  69. mainy

    Blogging is so much fun and at times such hard work and i cannot find a reason why anyone would want to attack people who do it. It’s a strange world we live in.It reminds me on my local paper, I cannot now even look at the online comments to each story as I am amazed how people will be so critical no matter what the story is.
    Thank you for linking this post up with #mainylovessummer
    Mainy

    Reply
  70. Bread // Queer Little Family

    I’ve said it before, but if you’re spending all your time getting angry on the internet about people on the internet, you’re not focusing on the right thing. Like your kids. So fuck ‘um Laura. Blog away. And maybe stay off mumsnet #kcacols

    Reply
  71. Alan

    Give no time to a hater. at all. not even a passing thought. There will always be those type of people around, trying to intimidate and upset others. The delte button is your best buddy and also, blacklist their IP in wordpress.

    Reply

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